Attn, Adam Cianciarulo: WHERE ARE YEEWWWW

Editor’s Note: This is meant to be all in good fun and, really, making fun of ourselves more than anything. If you don’t like it, well, like Ricky Bobby said.

Nobody at vurbmoto can confirm nor deny whether or not Adam Cianciarulo actually visits our Web site. However, based on our long standing history with him (mostly in part because of Wes Williams), we have a hunch he visits our site anywhere between one and nine times per hour, per day. Unfortunately, we only update our Web site one to nine times per year, so he’s wearing out his refresh button faster than Aldon Baker wears out a dirtbike rider just trying to have fun on his bike. We apologize, AC. We are working closely with Elon Musk to integrate AI to replace us and produce content faster than the speed of light, sound, and Art Dog (me) smashing the repeat button on the new Angels & Airwaves song over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. 

However, Adam, before Elon’s AI takes over our Web site and we are reduced to bums watching HOARDERS on repeat, we have a bone to pick with you. Well, actually, not really a bone. It’s more of an interesting situation that we feel you would benefit from. For reasons, unbeknownst to me, everybody here goes by a hot dog nickname. Thankfully, my username has not been changed to my assigned hot dog name, but they do call me “Art Dog” around these parts because of my artistic and superior ability to view the world in a far more creative manner through my camera then anybody else has ever been able to in the history of the world being alive (sarcasm). For some time, I’ve known you are familiar with a few of bands that have defined my life: Blink 182 (real Blink with Tom, not this Matt Skiba shit), Box Car Racer, and Angels & Airwaves. Your pal that you’ve never met before, Art Dog (me), not only knows Tom DeLonge personally, but also shot and edited a short form doc with Tom in January of 2019 about leaving Blink to start AvA, what he’s doing with To The Stars, and his passion for riding motorcycles. 

I am uncertain of your level of appreciation for sir Thomas or how deep your Blink roots run (are we a fan who enjoys the original records like Buddha, Cheshire Cat, etc, or are you more an Enema of the State type of guy)? Either way, as long as you flip off your car radio anytime Blink with Skiba comes on, we can be MySpace friends and maybe I can even share with you my LiveJournal from the early 2000s and compare emo notes together.

Anyway, I digress. Here’s the deal, Adam: I think we need to do a vurb Platinum and it needs to be with you. And, I think the soundtrack needs to be that of our favorite musical artist Tom DeLonge. I can then tell you all about my experiences working with Tom and his crew, how I’ve been friends with David Kennedy of BCR and AvA for about eight years, and how my wife and I got to watch AvA play from on stage circa October of 2019. I hate to be such a name dropper like this, but because of my relationships over there, we stand a fine chance of being able to license a song from them for a Platinum at a far more affordable price tag than a Blink track. Plus, Wes said if I didn’t write this article he would stop paying for my mocha frappes with no whip from McDonalds. And, I need those frappes to survive and maintain my boyish figure.

Adam, even though you are 64 ft taller and 10 years younger than me, I have a feeling we would get along well because of our common interest in music. I also think we could make a vurb Platinum that would break the Internet, and that shit sounds pretty cool to me. Unfortunately, the outdoor season is about to commence. So, we were hoping you could just go ahead and skip that shit (because who likes riding in 100 degree weather for two 35-minute motos anyways) and, instead, we will spend the entire summer drinking mocha frappes, listening to our favorite band(s), and shooting a three month long vurb Platinum that will win you many more VLOG subscribers, many more Instagram followers, and a lifetime of memories. I understand in doing so you sacrifice a massive pay check and place factory Kawasaki in a tough spot. But, look what Tom did? He quit Blink (twice) to chase his dreams. So, I don’t see any excuse. #BeLikeTom and let’s go make some fuckin’ art! 

In all seriousness, though. Let’s really do a Platinum with an AvA song. You can still race the outdoors and you don’t have to drink a mocha frappe with me or Wes. We’ll work around all of that. But, drop us a line and let’s go do a thing. Or, at least talk about this new AvA single.