T-Dog’s Takes: “I Will Literally Leave the Stadium in Handcuffs To Be AP’s Hat Holder”

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A couple of weeks back I wrote about how my new life dream was to become Aaron Plessinger’s cowboy hat holder. My idea is supposed to come to life on March 16 at the Indianapolis SX. Yet, we’ve hit a snag in the plan.

WE DON’T HAVE CONFIRMATION FROM THE AP CAMP.

Dear Slim, I wrote to you, but you still ain’t callin’.

C’mon AP, we’ve known each other for what… 10 plus years now? We need to sort this out and put it to bed. I swear on my momma that I haven’t dropped anything ever. Okay, I’ll come clean, I dropped a container of strawberries at the grocery a couple weeks back. With that being said, I glitched. That is a 99.8% success rate. Other than that, I haven’t dropped anything in my life. Your hat is in good… no GREAT hands!

The plan has changed. I’ll show up. You give me a briefing on the rules of the hat holder position. Then we’ll head up to the opening ceremonies together. I’ll seamlessly take the hat out of the box and place it in your outstretched hand. We’ll nod to one another as men do, shout a couple yeehaws, and I’ll be out of your way faster than the voice of God can say, “PLESSSSSSINNNGGERRRRRR”.

That’s all I’m asking for. I’m busy and you’re busy. As fellow Ohioans, we deserve to give this collaboration to our hometown race. This year you’re not going to be able to hear anything because the fans are going to be so loud. You’ll be so overwhelmed with the response that you may even forget your hat? How about that for a motive? I’ll make sure that you don’t forget it. I’ve never forgotten anything, just ask my wife Ginger Dog. My success rate on not forgetting stuff is insane.

So, please AP, confirm. I will literally leave the stadium in handcuffs if I have to in order to make this happen. I’ll Japan 4 my way down to the starting gate if I have to. We here at Vurbmoto are very committed when it comes to following through with our ideas. This one is a banger vlog idea and it has to happen.

It’s what your fans want and need.

Main Image: Octopi Media